On second thoughts, it’s what you say
Posted on Dec 07 2006 | Tagged as: Words, The Stupid, Media, Literature, Science, Pedantry, While I should be working
I’ve held myself back a couple of times this week from blogging about appalling misuse of words, mainly “tragic death”[1]. But then I came across this on Wikipedia:
“An extrasolar planet, or exoplanet, is a planet beyond the Solar System.”
What with “extrasolar” meaning “beyond the solar system”, I’m pretty sure we could’ve figured that one out, thanks.
But it reminded me of what something one of my classmates wrote back in those halycon[2] days of A-level physics. His essay on wedge-shaped films (don’t ask me… [3]) read as follows:
“Wedge-shaped films are films that are wedge-shaped. A film that is wedge-shaped is a wedge-shaped film. If a film were wedge-shaped, a wedge-film it would be.”
Look at that! Not only does it contain absolutely no information, the third sentence is exactly the same as the second but starting in the future conditional tense. That’s truly excellent slacking.
It’s almost as vacuous a statement as anything David “Dave” Cameron has ever said.
UPDATE: “Chris” points out in the comments that the third sentence is [imperfect] subjunctive, not future conditional. I am a ‘tard.
_ _ _ _ _
[1] Incorrect use on two counts:
- It’s (nearly) a pleonasm - As the word “tragic” is used to emphasise the sadness of the death, it’s an un-necessary word. One can assume deaths to be sad, unless, as Gary frequently points out, it’s Margaret Thatcher.
- It just isn’t tragic. Hamlet Prince of Denmark’s death was tragic. King Lear’s. Not every youngster who comes a-cropper. As writer and tragoedian Michael Bywater says, “Tragedy implies an ineluctable movement, brought about by the victim’s own hubris, towards inevitable downfall”. Used, as it is so often in the press, to denote any death that could have been easily avoided, most recently Exeter student Gavin Britton, is the opposite.
[2] Crap, actually.
[3] Curiously, if you search for “wedge-shaped films” on Wikipedia, one of the resulting articles is Critical reception of Brokeback Mountain.
4 Comments »
on 08 Dec 2006 at 3:26 pm 1 Chris said …
The third sentence about wedge-shaped films is in the subjunctive, not the futre conditional. And ‘tragic death’ isn’t a pleonasm, even without the unutterably sophomoric counterexample of Margaret Thatcher.
on 08 Dec 2006 at 3:41 pm 2 Christopher White said …
See update for correction resulting from your first point.
I’d dispute your dispute over “tragic death”. I think it counts as a superfluous word, little different from “free gift” or “true fact”.
And yes, the Thatcher reference was infantile. But this is a very childish blog…
on 09 Dec 2006 at 2:20 am 3 Squander Two said …
If we cut out superfluous words, we are left with truly crap language.
Mind you, “extra bonus” really pisses me off. And “AC current”.
If you can assume deaths to be sad, you are yet too young to have attained a level of cynicism appropriate to this world. Without good information to the contrary, I assume deaths to be humdrum, pointless, self-induced, and deserved.
on 09 Dec 2006 at 4:37 am 4 Christopher White said …
“PIN number” drives me out of my tiny mind.
I don’t personally assume deaths to be inherently sad, necessarily - it’s more of a kind of general consensus.